Peruse the many paper-based items available to you via Fictional Comics! Consider a purchase, won’t you? This page uses a secure PayPal shopping cart (under my business name, Standard Design). Before ordering, you can review my shipping policies on my blog.

OPT12: The Optimist Comic Strips Published In 2012
Coming soon.

OPT11: The Optimist Comic Strips Published In 2011
(2012, 52 pages, 8″x8″) It contains comics unavailable in the 2010 comic book. It costs $5.

OPT10: The Optimist Comic Strips Published In 2010
(2011, 52 pages, 8″x8″) I feel that the title of this comic book is extremely self-explanatory. The book is printed on white paper with black ink. It has a color cover. It is held together by two staples. It contains comics. It costs $5.

(2006 – 52 pp) 52 pages of evil-fighting mayhem! Super-heroically entertaining! Lots of exclamation points! Incredibly stupid! Culled from the past ten or fifteen years of dumb collaboration between Tom Pappalardo and Matt Smith. Read reviews here. It costs $5.

EVEN LIONS WILL FEAR YOU: Two Years of Whiskey! Tango! Foxtrot!
(2009, 52 pages, 8″x10.5″) A towering collection – every WTF strip published in 2007-2008, plus a bunch of previously unpublished bonus-type-junk. If you’ve only read these comics online, then you’re missing out on the glorious effect of a bloopy yet crisp halftone pattern on bright white paper. It costs $5.

FAILURE, INCOMPETENCE: Aborted Jokes and Abandoned Stories, 1995-2005 (2005, 48 pages, 6.62″x10.25″) A collection of mostly-previously unpublished comics & stories encompassing an entire decade of non-acclaim. This collection has been out of print for almost five years due to author laziness. Take a moment to watch the book trailer, or read reviews of unrepentant adulation. It costs $5.

A 10×20 two-color screenprinted art print all ’bout my main buddy COFFEE. Included with every purchase: a Hello, Darkness sticker. $20

(17×21 2-color) A large poster-sized screenprint in black and silver! The first print produced based on a comic strip from The Optimist. That’s some bad-ass merch right there! Numbered edition of 60. $10

SHY print
12×14 digital print of the most popular comic on the site! $10